#ss

Mr. Branwell and Mr. Carstairs seem to have no problem cleaning their boots,” Sophie said, looking darkly from Will to Tessa. “Perhaps you could learn from their example.” “Perhaps,” said Will. “But I doubt it.” Sophie scowled, and started off along the corridor again, her shoulders tightly set with indignation. Tessa looked at Will in amazement. “What was that?” Will shrugged lazily. “Sophie enjoys pretending she doesn’t like me.” “Doesn’t like you? She hates you! ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#sophie #tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

I would be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of the assignment. Here I am, a "troubled youth," and my self-chosen treatment is to become a stalker. Okay, not stalker. Research Analyst. ↗

— Lindsey Leavitt

#humor #lindsey-leavitt #research #sean-griswold-s-head #stalker

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#careful #dannika-dark #funny #humor #mageri

Her chin lifted. "Very well. Here is my best offer. Half of my nakedness for all of yours." He pretended to think on it. " It's a bargain. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#humor #romance #undressing #humor

You're tough when you need to be, and you can charm the pants off men who have three times your experience. Well, yes. Although I try not to take advantage of that too often. Very awkward negotiating with people who are sitting around in their underwear. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #business

Forgive me if I don't take relationship advice from a dead teenager missing her vagina. ↗

— Brian K. Vaughan

#forgiveness

Anyone that looked like that wouldn't need to tie up girls and imprison them in order to get them to marry him ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #young-adult #humor

One should never marry a man who doesn't own a decent set of scissors. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#scissors #humor

Greed and desire Not peace, but fire Coveting creation Created damnation Pulled alongside A gate thrown too wide Now our home calls And darkness fall "I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on."A for effort, ladies, but F for clarity. You do realise that your wierd poem things never explain anything", ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #humor

This is a fierce bad rabbit; look at his savage whiskers, and his claws and his turned-up tail. ↗

— Beatrix Potter

#bunnies #fierceness #humor #rabbits #humor