#ss

I would be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of the assignment. Here I am, a "troubled youth," and my self-chosen treatment is to become a stalker. Okay, not stalker. Research Analyst. ↗

— Lindsey Leavitt

#humor #lindsey-leavitt #research #sean-griswold-s-head #stalker

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#careful #dannika-dark #funny #humor #mageri

Her chin lifted. "Very well. Here is my best offer. Half of my nakedness for all of yours." He pretended to think on it. " It's a bargain. ↗

— Tessa Dare

#humor #romance #undressing #humor

You're tough when you need to be, and you can charm the pants off men who have three times your experience. Well, yes. Although I try not to take advantage of that too often. Very awkward negotiating with people who are sitting around in their underwear. ↗

— Julie James

#humor #business

Forgive me if I don't take relationship advice from a dead teenager missing her vagina. ↗

— Brian K. Vaughan

#forgiveness

Anyone that looked like that wouldn't need to tie up girls and imprison them in order to get them to marry him ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #young-adult #humor

One should never marry a man who doesn't own a decent set of scissors. ↗

— Gillian Flynn

#scissors #humor

Greed and desire Not peace, but fire Coveting creation Created damnation Pulled alongside A gate thrown too wide Now our home calls And darkness fall "I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache coming on."A for effort, ladies, but F for clarity. You do realise that your wierd poem things never explain anything", ↗

— Kiersten White

#evie #humor #humor

This is a fierce bad rabbit; look at his savage whiskers, and his claws and his turned-up tail. ↗

— Beatrix Potter

#bunnies #fierceness #humor #rabbits #humor

It’s that I think Will is angry with me,” Tessa explained. “So whatever he told you—” He laughed. “Will is angry with everyone,” he said. “I don’t let it color my judgment. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jem-castairs #tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor