#standup

As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room. ↗

— Lea DeLaria

#change the world #entertain #entertainer #girl #i

I'm not a standup. I don't really have jokes. I don't have 10 minutes. It took a while for me to realize this. ↗

— Julia Sweeney

#jokes #me #minutes #realize #really

I still do standup. ↗

— Ray Romano

#standup #still

if there are no heros to save you, Then you be the hero ↗

— Denpa kyoshi

#heros #standup #bullying

The most memorable performance was my appearance in concert in Carnegie Hall. The first standup to do so. ↗

— Shelley Berman

#carnegie #carnegie hall #concert #first #hall

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think. ↗

— Dylan Moran

#humour #monster #standup #balance

Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days. ↗

— Larry David

#days #doing #i #some #standup