#t

In my lifetime, we've gone from Eisenhower to George W. Bush. We've gone from John F. Kennedy to Al Gore. If this is evolution, I believe that in twelve years, we'll be voting for plants. ↗

— Lewis Black

#al gore #believe #bush #eisenhower #evolution

If you're working out in front of a mirror and watching your muscles grow, your ego has reached a point where it is now eating itself. That's why I believe there should be a psychiatrist at every health club, so that when they see you doing this, they will take you away for a little chat. ↗

— Lewis Black

#believe #chat #club #doing #eating

I am saddened by how people treat one another and how we are so shut off from one another and how we judge one another, when the truth is, we are all one connected thing. We are all from the same exact molecules. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#another #connected #exact #how #i

Republicans have nothing but bad ideas and Democrats have no ideas. ↗

— Lewis Black

#bad #bad ideas #democrats #ideas #nothing

And I know this happens because I took economics, and I'd explain it to ya, but I flunked that course. Not my fault. They taught it at 8 o'clock in the morning. And there is absolutely nothing you can learn out of one bloodshot eye. ↗

— Lewis Black

#absolutely nothing #because #clock #course #economics

There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice. ↗

— Lewis Black

#juice #milk #soy #such #thing

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it! ↗

— Lewis Black

#fix #got #layer #live #men

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense. ↗

— Lewis Black

#day #disturbing #find #flu #get

A father and two sons run Adelphia. It's a cable company. And they took from that company a billion dollars. A billion. Three people - three people took a billion dollars. What were they gonna do, start their own space program? 'Let's send the monkey to Mars, Dad!' ↗

— Lewis Black

#cable #company #dad #dollars #father

I love anything that gets me outside of my own head. ↗

— Lewis Black

#gets #head #i #i love #love