#ted

Moistening her lips, she asked, "That's what this is all about? Bringing me here?" His hesitation was so slight she almost missed it. "It could be. Probably is, after all." "You still want to seduce me." "I want whatever you can give me," he murmured against her ear. "Where we go from here may depend on what I can give you. ↗

— Jennifer Blake

#reunited-lovers #love

A pastor, a politician, and a brick walk into a bar, and the bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve rigid nonthinkers here.” So the brick and the pastor look at the politician, who turns around and leaves.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket might make the ideal politician, because they’re warm, comforting, soft, and easily corruptible.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be affixed under one of your shoes, to give your walk a limp that makes people more sympathetic towards you. Gimps get all the girls. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and the participant made off with the money without completing the study.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

However, in modern conceptual frameworks there is a more sophisticated view. I would say that the act of music exists in several worlds simultaneously. ↗

— Robert Fripp

#conceptual #exists #however #i #modern

Mrs. Lynde says, 'Blessed are they who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed. ↗

— L.M. Montgomery

#disappointment #expectations #misattributed #l-m-montgomery

Love is like a big juicy steak. You bite into it, enjoy it, then regret the calories you gained, when you're standin on your scale the next morning. See,I don't eat steak. I'm a vegetarian. ↗

— Euphoria Godsent

#cold-hearted #cold-hearted-people #diva #euphoria-godsent #heart-breaker

A blanket could be used to settle disputes. Hold my penis while I demonstrate how it would work. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

A brick could be used to make life easier. Start carrying one around with you everywhere you go, and you’ll see what I mean. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny