#tee

She's a librarian, Sim said. They're not teachers; don't give you half as much hassle. If there's a fire in the school and I've got to choose who I'm gonna save - a teacher or a librarian - the teacher's gonna burn every time. (p. 24) ↗

— Keith Gray

#librarian #teacher #teens #humor

My boss is like an angry bear with a sore head and poison ivy up his ass. ↗

— E.L. James

#fifty-shades-darker #humor #humor

I deciced if I were ever to get into booze and women, my line would be, 'Excuse me, madam, but I would really love to bed and muss you. . . . Are you perchance free this evening? ↗

— Rachel Cohn

#humor #romance #teen #humor

I tried to find a word for it in my thesaurus, but there isn't one. At least, not one that doesn't belittle the plight of POWs and victims of famine. I guess we can just call it beyond suck. -Lulu Dark ↗

— Bennett Madison

#sassy-teens #synonyms #humor

What in god’s name happened to your nuts?” “They met a jet-powered water hose.” He grimaced. “They’re already healing.” A rare glint of amusement lit Lawrence’s eyes. “You have balls of steel.” “You have inappropriate humour. ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#humor #humour #nuts #torture #humor

If only I had the speed that my alien boyfriend had, then I could just zip through my senior year and forget about distance and mom’s annoyingly great sense of hearing. But when said alien boyfriend was in my bed, I wanted nothing more than the opposite speed. I wanted to freeze time to keep everything just the way it was. ↗

— Magan Vernon

#humor #teen-romance #young-adult #humor

Okay, then, what was he like? Just give me something to go on so that I have a shot at him!' 'A shot at him? Are you on an elk hunt? ↗

— Sara Zarr

#humor #relationships #teenagers #humor

He sees me when I'm lying. He hears me when I flirt. ↗

— Candace Jane Kringle

#humor #teen-romance #humor

She groaned as her face turned to press against the rosewood floor. "Welly, remind me to order a better mattress for my bed. This one is far too firm." "Oh, Eliza," Wellington gasped, now remembering why he was in these lush surroundings. "No broken nose, I hope." "S'all right," Braun slurred. Her voiced dropped to a whisper. "My ample bosom broke my fall. ↗

— Philippa Ballantine

#ministry-of-peculiar-occurrences #philippa-ballantine #tee-morris #humor

Thank you very Much, I enjoyed myself ↗

— Richard P. Feynman

#self-esteem #self-inspired #humor