#tin

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.'-Jace 'Just break the door down, will you?'-Clary ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #flirting #humor #jace-wayland #humor

I've never said this to a girl before." I bit my lip, waiting. "Well..." He looked down. "I'm not sure how to say this." He took a deep breath and announced, "I really like fighting evil with you. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor #humor

He’s an indulgent sort of man…… With a quick lip and a fierce tongue, the sort of tongue that draws you in with charm and words of praise, awkward silences and desperate worships. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#charm #fierce-tongue #friendship-and-love #jamie-weise #love

Go fuck yourself," I replied, always the lady. "I'm staying here. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#fighting #frank-sinatra #humor #humor

Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. ↗

— Charles Willeford

#humor

The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of a workshop is that good writing is about telling the truth. We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#writing #humor

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#parenting #humor

The netherworld is timeless and unchanging, and boring -- much like a doctor's waiting room. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#humor #netherworld #humor

I did several interesting jobs, working in restaurants, I worked at a lab rat farm, feeding and watering all these rats. Then I got a full-time job as a technical writer for a large scientific research laboratory. ↗

— Kevin J. Anderson

#farm #feeding #full-time #full-time job #got

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #writing #funny