#tin

I totally carpe-d the snot out of this diem! ↗

— Jerry Scott

#humor #latin #zits #humor

I realize that some of you may have come in hopes of hearing tips on how to become a professional writer. I say to you, "If you really want to hurt your parents, and you don't have the nerve to be a homosexual, the least you can do is go into the arts. But do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college. ↗

— Kurt Vonnegut

#education #hurt #writers-on-writing #art

Writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#writing #humor

My shoulder will never be the same. I expect you to nurse me back to health.'-Jace 'Just break the door down, will you?'-Clary ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #flirting #humor #jace-wayland #humor

I've never said this to a girl before." I bit my lip, waiting. "Well..." He looked down. "I'm not sure how to say this." He took a deep breath and announced, "I really like fighting evil with you. ↗

— Joan Bauer

#humor #humor

He’s an indulgent sort of man…… With a quick lip and a fierce tongue, the sort of tongue that draws you in with charm and words of praise, awkward silences and desperate worships. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#charm #fierce-tongue #friendship-and-love #jamie-weise #love

Go fuck yourself," I replied, always the lady. "I'm staying here. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#fighting #frank-sinatra #humor #humor

Just tell the truth, and they'll accuse you of writing black humor. ↗

— Charles Willeford

#humor

The very first thing I tell my new students on the first day of a workshop is that good writing is about telling the truth. We are a species that needs and wants to understand who we are. Sheep lice do not seem to share this longing, which is one reason they write so very little. But we do. We have so much we want to say and figure out. ↗

— Anne Lamott

#writing #humor

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#parenting #humor