#to

Of course you know, this means war. ↗

— Joe Adamson

#looney-toons #war #funny

Jackass, jackass on the wall, where's the info on Hex Hall? ↗

— Rachel Hawkins

#sophie #torin #funny

I swore I'd never become some lord's brainless arm ornament and political host, but I've become far worse. I'm a glorified housekeeper and sperm donor. -from the journal of Payton Marcus Townsend. ↗

— J.L. Langley

#payton #funny

Maybe they know what I know, that the true way to a man's heart is six inches of metal between his ribs. Sometimes four inches will do the job, but to be really sure, I like to have six. Funny how phallic objects are always more useful the bigger they are. Anyone who tells you size doesn't matter has been seeing too many small knives. ↗

— Laurell K. Hamilton

#laurell-k-hamilton #funny

Once we get into the groove, we're kind of like long-distance runners - that adrenalin kicks in for me and I just keep running - and I don't stop! ↗

— Keith Urban

#get #groove #i #into #just

The funny thing about stop signs is that they're also start signs. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#the-key-to-the-golden-firebird #funny

A mechanical toothbrush is the greatest oral device in the history of the sex toy industry. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #sex-toy #funny

In a car you're always in a compartment, and because you're used to it you don't realize that through that car window everything you see is just more TV. You're a passive observer and it is all moving by you boringly in a frame. On a cycle the frame is gone. You're completely in contact with it all. You're in the scene, not just watching it anymore, and the sense of presence is overwhelming. ↗

— Robert M. Pirsig

#art

To win one hundred victories in one hundred battles is not the acme of skill. To subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill ↗

— Sun Tzu

#strategy #victory #art

Loki'd! ↗

— Tom Hiddleston

#funny #god #hiddleston #loki #mischief