#tru

Ever notice how amused people are when you point out one of their mannerisms or a funny quirk about them? They start laughing and getting happy because they're thinking, "People notice me! I'm relevent!" It's OK to have these instincts, but you have to suppress them a bit. There are 6 billion people here, so it's not all about you. You need to let other people talk for a while and pay attention to their world for a sec. ↗

— Lesley Arfin

#true-stories-drugs #funny

It's just so sad what we're willing to do for the Joey Spinellis of the world, you know? The mutilating, the tweezing, the enhancing, the plumping, the pinching, the waxing, the starving, the sweating, the bleaching. And for what? So you can wake up next to THAT in thirty years? What are we thinking?? ↗

— Yvonne Prinz

#true #women #funny

Smartass Disciple: Master, I don’t need a fairytale.I need you to tell me the truth. Master of Stupidity: It is not funny if you just found it. No drama if no lost at first. ↗

— Toba Beta

#fairy-tale #fun #lost-and-found #truth #funny

In a sad twist of fate, the bill to reauthorize the Patriot Act was debated on the floor of the House of Representatives the same day that terrorists struck again. ↗

— Jim Sensenbrenner

#again #bill #day #debated #fate

Today you are you! That is truer than true! There is no one alive who is you-er than you! ↗

— Dr. Seuss

#than #today #true #truer #who

While America will always, I think, feel foreign to me, New York City is my home. This is where I can construct my own identity freely and reject labels imposed on me. ↗

— Raquel Cepeda

#foreign #freedom #freedom-of-choice #freedom-of-thought #home

I think she just asked if she could touch my mango. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jace-lightwood #mortal-instruments #humor

Come on guys, you cant fight like this forever" "Actually," Simon said, raising his hand,"I can". Jace made a weird noise and I realized he was trying not to laugh-which by the way, wasn't working. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jace-wayland #mortal-instruments #simon-lewis #humor

Integrity is a bugger, it really is. Lying can get you into difficulties, but to really wind up in the crappers try telling nothing but the truth. ↗

— David Mitchell

#lying #truth #humor

What the semicolon's anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. Are they being alarmist? ↗

— Lynne Truss

#english-language #grammar #humor #lynne-truss #punctuation