#us

In recent weeks it has come to my attention that many caravans have met with disaster; they have not gotten through." I grunted wisely. "Probably ran out of water. That's the thing about deserts. Dry." "Indeed. A fascinating analysis. But survivors reaching Hebron report differently: monsters fell upon them in the wastes." "What, fell upon them in a squashed-them kind of way?" "More the leaped-out-and-slew-them kind. (...) ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#humor #humor

But they're already singing our praises!" "They are Americans. They toot their horns for anything. ↗

— Scott Westerfeld

#enthusiasm #humor #humor

Himmlisch ist's wenn ich bezwungen Meine irdische Begier; Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen Hatt' ich auch recht huebsch Plaisir! Loosely translated: It is heavenly, when I overcome My earthly desires But nevertheless, when I'm not successful, It can also be quite pleasurable. ↗

— Leo Tolstoy

#sexuality #unfaithful #humor

Satan rejected my soul; as low as he goes, he never quite goes this low. ↗

— Morrissey

#lyrics #music #humor

Bad pony-men! BOO! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#cyclopes #cyclops #heroes-of-olympus #humor #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

I have a daughter and she's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She gives me a good excuse to watch cartoons. ↗

— Mike Dirnt

#humor #musician #humor

Damon Scares me,' Maggie said. 'Maybe you should do what he wants.' 'Can't.' 'Why not?' 'Because he killed me. That kind of pisses me off ↗