#v

So you love me," said Petra softly when the kiss ended. I'm a raging mass of hormones thet I'm too young to understand," said Bean. "You're a female of a closely related species. According to all the best primatologists, I really have no choice." That's nice," she said... ↗

— Orson Scott Card

#humor #love #humor

The moment seemed endless, but it was probably only half that. ↗

— Steve Toltz

#humor #relativity #suspense #time #humor

TANDAAN: your mind is your weapon. Pagyamanin natin ito at magiging handa tayo sa gulo na dulot ng paghihimagsik ng puso at bird. ↗

— Ramon Bautista

#love #humor

Oh confound that gray-and-scarlet suit!" Sophie said. "I refuse to believe that I was the one that got caught with it! ↗

— Diana Wynne Jones

#love #humor

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays. ↗

— Henny Youngman

#atheist #become #gave #holidays #i

Jane: "Look, Dave Chandler left me on the ninth floor of our university research library without my panties after we lost our virginity together. He never called me again and actually turned on his heel and walked in the opposite direction whenever he saw me on campus. Unless you're going to do that, I don't think were gonna have a problem. Gabriel?" Gabriel: "Sorry. Something strange happened inside my head when you said the word "panties". The overwhelming urge to kill Dave Chandler combined with a simultaneous loss of blood to the brain. ↗

— Molly Harper

#humorous #jane #vampire #humor

When she brought Mira up, Eve gave Roarke another glance. "Don't talk to him," she warned. "He can get bitchy when he's in this deep. I don't know if we have any of that tea stuff." "I had it stocked, and I don't get bitchy. Bloody, buggering HELL." Eve just rolled her eyes and got the tea. ↗

— J.D. Robb

#humor #roarke #death

Every letter was a love letter. Of course, as love letters went, this one could have been better. It was not very promising, for instance, that Madeleine claimed not to want to see him for the next half-century. ↗

— Jeffrey Eugenides

#love-letter #humor

What she means is, I might look like a pussy but I'm really a badass demon. ↗

— Jaye Wells

#humor #minion #silver-tongued-devil #humor

True heroics must be carefully planned - and strenuously avoided. ↗

— Steven Brust

#taltos #vlad #humor