#v

It is odd how, when you have a secret belief of your own which you do not wish to acknowledge, the voicing of it by someone else will rouse you to a fury of denial. ↗

— Agatha Christie

#observation #humor

I'm here to tell you, there ain't much forgiveness in that old-time religion. That particular savior was a mean son of a bitch. If you sinned, honey, he was going to get you, no doubt about it. ↗

— Ava Gardner

#forgiveness #god #humor #religion #sin

I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. ↗

— Elizabeth Gilbert

#love #humor

I could give you a pillow fight. Or a wet finger in your ear. Or sit on you. You know, it's often the things that I don't do to you, that I do for you. ↗

— Brandon Perazzo

#love #humor

Want to play hangman? asks Theophile, and I ache to tell him that I have enough on my plate playing quadriplegic. But my communication system disqualifies repartee: the keenest rapier grows dull and falls flat when it takes several minutes to thrust it home. By the time you strike, even you no longer understand what had seemed so witty before you started to dictate it, letter by letter. So the rule is to avoid impulsive sallies. It deprives conversation of its sparkle, all those gems you bat back and forth like a ball-and I count this forced lack of humor one of the great drawbacks of my condition. ↗

— Jean-Dominique Bauby

#conversation #locked-in-syndrome #repartee #communication

Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet. ↗

— Douglas Adams

#cowardice #humor #humor

The no-kiss rule starts when we’re home and I’ve found you a class,’ Sky said smugly. ‘Read the small print.’ Zed folded his arms and pushed back his empty plate. ‘She won’t last. ↗

— Joss Stirling

#love #romance #humor

A bird in the hand was worth two in the bush, he told her, to which she retorted that a proverb was the last refuge of the mentally destitute. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#proverb #proverbs #humor

See, I’m in love with the person you can never outrun. I’m in love with you. ↗

— Laura Miller

#love #love

My playing had called to another human being at last. Surely, she could be no other than my own true love. Slowly, I got to my feet. Speak to me, I thought. And as if she'd heard me, the young woman's lips parted and she spoke thus: Have you lost your mind? ↗

— Cameron Dokey

#love #humor