#val

God, when did Elli go from cute to hot? I mean, I've sensed it coming for a while, but all at once, here she is. Trouble on two legs. Two very nice legs. And now I need to go home and wash my brain out with soap. ↗

— Ingrid Paulson

#home

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor

Coach Hedge yelled,“Thar she blows! Kansas, ahoy!” “Holy Hephaestus,” Leo muttered. “He really needs to work on his shipspeak. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #kansas #leo-valdez #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians

Another relative?" Valek asked. A broad smile stretched Moon Man's lips. "Yes. I am her mother's uncle's wife's third cousin." --Valek and Moon Man ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#valek #humor

This is what it's all been about with you," he said in an even tone. "All the fear, all the running. The nightmares." When she nodded, he said, "You called him the devil." "He is." What are you thinking, Scot? "But you... married him?" MacRieve's disgusted with me. "Basically? Yes." "Ceremony and everything?" She swallowed. "He tricked me into it. I-I was only sixteen." A muscle ticked in his cheek and his irises grew pale. "Then know this..." She stopped breathing. "Lass, I'm about to make you a widow-- ↗

— Kresley Cole

#lykae #valkyrie #humor

Your mother sounds like a formidable woman," Valek said into the silence. "You have no idea," Leif replied with a sigh. "Well, if she's anything like Yelena, my deepest sympathies," Valek teased. "Hey!" Leif laughed and the tense moment dissipated. Valek handed Leif his machete. "Do you know how to use it?" "Of course. I chopped Yelena's bow into firewood," Leif joked. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#leif #valek #humor

Yes!" Narissus unslung his bow and grabbed an arrow from his dusty quiver. "The first one who get that bronze, I will like you almost as much as I like me. I might even kiss you, right after I kiss my reflection!" "Oh my gods!" the nymphs squealed. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#bronze #echo #hazel-levesque #humor #leo-valdez

I remembered my little brother, Allyn, had appeared so innocent and angelic when he slept--similar to Kerrick. It must be a survival tactic. If Allyn hadn't looked so sweet, we would have killed him while he slept. He had been pure evil when he was awake--similar to Kerrick. ↗

— Maria V. Snyder

#appearances #brothers #humor #innocence #sleep

See, they say it’s ‘survival of the fittest’, but you and I really know that it’s ‘survival of the most heavily armed ↗

— Lia Habel

#survival #humor

What are we doing with him?" Briec asked eagerly. "Are we throwing him out a window? Let's throw him out a window! Or off the roof! ↗

— G.A. Aiken

#sibling-rivalry #humor