#wordplay

Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#alice-in-wonderland #door #funny #humor #wordplay

If a UFO did land, and invite me onboard, I'd love to have the balls to go in. So, I search the skies for extra testicles. ↗

— Kelli Jae Baeli

#pun #ufo #wordplay #love

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail! ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#planning #wordplay #inspirational

Life insurance is a dying industry.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #dying #industry #life-insurance #pun

Easily found, easily gathered, lives were the small change of this world, and if you lost a few, it didn't matter; there were always more. ↗

— Salman Rushdie

#change

I understand that you are an accomplished swords-man,” she finally said. He eyed her curiously. Where was she going with this? “I like to fence, yes,” he replied. “I have always wanted to learn.” “Good God,” Gregory grunted. “I would be quite good at it,” she protested. “I’m sure you would,” her brother replied, “which is why you should never be allowed within thirty feet of a sword.” He turned to Gareth. “She’s quite diabolical.” “Yes, I’d noticed,” Gareth murmured, deciding that maybe there might be a bit more to Hyacinth’s brother than he had thought. Gregory shrugged, reaching for a piece of shortbread. “It’s probably why we can’t seem to get her married off.” “Gregory!” This came from Hyacinth, but that was only because Lady Bridgerton had excused herself and followed one of the footmen into the hall. “It’s a compliment!” Gregory protested. “Haven’t you waited your entire life for me to agree that you’re smarter than any of the poor fools who have attempted to court you?” “You might find it difficult to believe,” Hyacinth shot back, “but I haven’t been going to bed each night thinking to myself—Oh, I do wish my brother would offer me something that passes for a compliment in his twisted mind. ↗

— Julia Quinn

#compliments #humor #siblings #swordplay #humor

It is a truth universally acknowledged, he’d mused, that most people will never find their ‘call me Ishmael’. ↗

— Django Wylie

#jane-austen #moby-dick #pride-and-prejudice #truth #wordplay

It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so eerily definitive: assent to the mandates of society would see you on the rise, but dissent was a steady downward path. ↗

— Django Wylie

#life #life-lessons #puns #wordplay #life

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ↗

— Milton Berle

#wordplay #men

I'm amazed at how amazing amazing artists are... truly amazing! ↗

— Stuart Blythe

#artists #fun #music #wordplay #music