#witty

Krystal’s slow passage up the school had resembled the passage of a goat through the body of a boa constrictor, being highly visible and uncomfortable for both parties concerned. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#high-school

Nothing uses up alcohol faster than political argument. ↗

— Robert A. Heinlein

#politics #witty #alcohol

Heard, Seen, and Dunn et al. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#witty #witty

Kevin", his father began, "I've been thinking about it – I guess I was kind of carried away. It's just that I've waited so long for my old school to make it to the Regionals... I suppose I was living it vicariously through you. Keith says you're not going to fail, after all. Is that right?" "Looks like I'll make it. I know it's hard to believe..." "Yes, it is. I was hoping you could get a football scholarship, you know. Something to waive the entrance requirements, because I don't know what college would take you-" "Yeah. Thanks a lot Dad," Kevin said sarcastically. He already knew what his father thought of him and didn't need to be reminded yet again. "Oh, come on. You know perfectly well that you're too stupid to-" "That's not what my boyfriend says. Oh, by the way, Dad – I'm a faggot. Did I mention that?" "... Kevin – get your stuff, and get out." "Gladly. ↗

— Failte

#witty #funny

It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Darcy. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the size of the room, or the number of couples. ↗

— Jane Austen

#witty #witty

I rolled my eyes, trying to keep my eyes off his body, just the sight of his abs or arms was enough to make me want to get naked and let Carlo take over anything he wanted. ↗

— Holly Hood

#love #witty #funny

Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research. ↗

— Wilson Mizner

#witty

I think that Obama is very cool. And I think he's clever, and I think he can be witty. But I don't think he's funny in either the way that Reagan was funny - or John McCain and Dick Cheney are both funny in that ruthless, kind of mean way. ↗

— Mo Rocca

#cheney #clever #cool #dick cheney #either

-"He loved her...It was noble of him. It was beautiful." -"It was stupid. ↗

— Lloyd Alexander

#comedy #comical #funny #humor #humorous

I was brought up by very witty people who were dealing with quite difficult things: disease and death... I was brought up by people who tended to giggle at funerals. ↗

— Emma Thompson

#dealing #death #difficult #difficult things #disease