#witty

Yes, I kidnapped that Lindberg baby. ↗

— Chuck Palahniuk

#hilarious #witty #funny

She didn‟t look like the athletic type to me.” “Maybe Nemov carried her. He looked like he could.” “He looked like he could carry his SUV. I don‟t know why he didn‟t. ↗

— Josh Lanyon

#taylor #witty #funny

Marriage is an honorable estate and should not be used simply as an excuse for legal intercourse. ↗

— Jasper Fforde

#witty #humor

From time to time I once wondered how one wanders from time to time And think up the paradox line Speak of Epoch's crime Oh I lied, it hasn't happened yet But bet you better believe it's such a habit that I just said that in a past mindset ↗

— Criss Jami

#curiosity #epoch #fantasy #imagination #lies

If you were smart," Genghis said, "you would have borrowed the silverware of one of your friends." "We never thought of that," Klaus said. When one is forced to tell atrocious lies, one often feels a guilty flutter in one's stomach, and Klaus felt such a flutter now. "You certainly are an intelligent man." "Not only am I intelligent," Genghis agreed, "but I'm also very smart. ↗

— Lemony Snicket

#clever #count-olaf #funny-humor #intelligent #lemony-snicket

Taking a single letter from the alphaber," he said, "should make life simpler." "I don't see why. Take the F from life and you have lie. It's adding a letter to simple that makes it simpler. Taking a letter from hoarder makes it harder. ↗

— James Thurber

#simpler #witty #life

Bishop was all done with the witty converstaion. "Will you swear?" And Myrnin said, shockingly, "I will." And he proceeded to, a string of swearwords that made Claire blink. He ended with, "--frothy fool-born apple-john! Cheater of vandals and defiler of dead dogs!" and did another twirl and bow. He looked up with a red, red grin that was more like a leer. "Is that what you meant, my lord? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#claire-danvers #humor #myrnin #witty

Childhood friends are continuity, uninterrupted connections between selves, and you hold on them. You hold on them and you love them, but sometimes they're not quite comfortable. ↗

— Lynn Messina

#love

The important thing to remember is not to forget ↗

— Benny Bellamacina

#life #philosophy #relationships #wisdom #wit

The man is as useless as nipples on a breastplate. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#simile #witty #insult