#wordplay

Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.' Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.' I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain. ↗

— Robert Louis Stevenson

#humour #pirates #pun #wit #wordplay

This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#fancy #raisins #terrible #wordplay #bad

tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight! ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#quip #tonight #wordplay #short-story

He: "Whale you be my valentine?" She: "Dolphinitely. ↗

— Adam Young

#sea #valentine #wordplay #originality

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

Noses run. Feet smell. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monahcino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Whenever I think of something but can't think of what it was I was thinking of, I can't stop thinking until I think I'm thinking of it again. I think I think too much. ↗

— Criss Jami

#challenge #clever #cognition #cognitive #cognitive-psychology

Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#alice-in-wonderland #door #funny #humor #wordplay

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail! ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#planning #wordplay #inspirational

Life insurance is a dying industry.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #dying #industry #life-insurance #pun