#wordplay

Doctors most commonly get mixed up between absence of evidence and evidence of abense ↗

— Nassim Nicholas Taleb

#evidence #medicine #quip #wordplay #medicine

He: "Whale you be my valentine?" She: "Dolphinitely. ↗

— Adam Young

#sea #valentine #wordplay #originality

Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to. ↗

— Mark Twain

#wordplay #animals

I'm just like any other person you can meet and greet on the street and like or not like. I'm not Holden or Humbert. You can really touch me! If you don't believe me, come to Aristod right now. Come hold and hump me! ↗

— Brian Celio

#humbert #humor #salinger #wordplay #humor

Noses run. Feet smell. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monahcino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#alice-in-wonderland #door #funny #humor #wordplay

Life insurance is a dying industry.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #dying #industry #life-insurance #pun

It is a truth universally acknowledged, he’d mused, that most people will never find their ‘call me Ishmael’. ↗

— Django Wylie

#jane-austen #moby-dick #pride-and-prejudice #truth #wordplay

It occurred to the man that the biggest problem with this staid world was the overwhelming demand for conformity. Everything was so eerily definitive: assent to the mandates of society would see you on the rise, but dissent was a steady downward path. ↗

— Django Wylie

#life #life-lessons #puns #wordplay #life

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ↗

— Milton Berle

#wordplay #men