#wordplay

tomorrow's gone-we'll have tonight! ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#quip #tonight #wordplay #short-story

He: "Whale you be my valentine?" She: "Dolphinitely. ↗

— Adam Young

#sea #valentine #wordplay #originality

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

Noses run. Feet smell. ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monahcino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Why it's simply impassible! Alice: Why, don't you mean impossible? Door: No, I do mean impassible. (chuckles) Nothing's impossible! ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#alice-in-wonderland #door #funny #humor #wordplay

If you fail to plan, you are planning to fail! ↗

— Benjamin Franklin

#planning #wordplay #inspirational

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours. ↗

— Milton Berle

#wordplay #men

I'm amazed at how amazing amazing artists are... truly amazing! ↗

— Stuart Blythe

#artists #fun #music #wordplay #music

You can't let the truth bring out the worst and let it get the best of you. ↗

— Criss Jami

#best #clever #condescension #humble #humility

Mother could go for one year without food, but not one day without her lip sticks. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#wordplay #food