#wordplay

Your friends are all the dullest dogs I know. They are not beautiful: they are only decorated. They are not clean: they are only shaved and starched. They are not dignified: they are only fashionably dressed. They are not educated: they are only college passmen. They are not religious: they are only pewrenters. They are not moral: they are only conventional. They are not virtuous: they are only cowardly. They are not even vicious: they are only “frail.” They are not artistic: they are only lascivious. They are not prosperous: they are only rich. They are not loyal, they are only servile; not dutiful, only sheepish; not public spirited, only patriotic; not courageous, only quarrelsome; not determined, only obstinate; not masterful, only domineering; not self-controlled, only obtuse; not self-respecting, only vain; not kind, only sentimental; not social, only gregarious; not considerate, only polite; not intelligent, only opinionated; not progressive, only factious; not imaginative, only superstitious; not just, only vindictive; not generous, only propitiatory; not disciplined, only cowed; and not truthful at all: liars every one of them, to the very backbone of their souls. ↗

— George Bernard Shaw

#wordplay #beauty

It was not that he was feckless, more that he had simply not been around the day they handed out feck. ↗

— Neil Gaiman

#humorous #wordplay #humor

Life insurance is a dying industry.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#death #dying #industry #life-insurance #pun

Mother could go for one year without food, but not one day without her lip sticks. ↗

— Barbara Kingsolver

#wordplay #food

The Bibbidi Bobbidi Beautiful boutique, the name filled me with dread. ↗

— Jessica Fortunato

#sarcasm #wordplay #work #beauty

Ducking for apples -- change one letter and it's the story of my life. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#sex #wordplay #change

Everyone lives in two worlds,” Maggie said, speaking in an absentminded sort of way while she studied her letters. “There’s the real world, with all its annoying facts and rules. In the real world, there are things that are true and things that aren’t. Mostly the real world s-s-s-suh-sucks. But everyone also lives in the world inside their own head. An inscape, a world of thought. In a world made of thought—in an inscape—every idea is a fact. Emotions are as real as gravity. Dreams are as powerful as history. Creative people, like writers, and Henry Rollins, spend a lot of their time hanging out in their thoughtworld. S-s-strong creatives, though, can use a knife to cut the stitches between the two worlds, can bring them together. Your bike. My tiles. Those are our knives. ↗

— Joe Hill

#creative-process #creative-thinking #friendship #scrabble #wordplay

Our cadaverous cadre has been walking for little over a day... ↗

— Isaac Marion

#wordplay #funny

Why is abbreviation such a long word? ↗

— Teresa Monachino

#funny #teresa-monachino #wordplay #words-fail-me #funny

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor