#vampire

Mom. I have something to tell you. I’m undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I’m here to tell you that undead are just like you and me … well, okay. Possibly more like me than you. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #mortal-instruments #simon #vampire #humor

I have been stabbed, shot, burned, bitten, beaten unconscious too many times to count, and even staked. None of those held a candle to the pain I felt at seeing his mouth on hers. ↗

— Jeaniene Frost

#vampire #humor

That's brain tissue. How can you-?" Claire shut her mouth, fast. "Never mind. I don't think I wanna know." "Truly, I think that's best. Please take it." He showed his teeth briefly in a very unsettling grin. "I'm giving you a piece of my mind." "I so wish you hadn't said that. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#humor #vampires #humor

The train is roaring toward you and the villain is twirling his moustache and you're fussing that he's tied you to the tracks with the wrong kind of rope. ↗

— Robin McKinley

#vampire #villians #humor

You freaking bit me," I said, my voice hoarse. "You're lucky I don't call animal control. ↗

— Jayde Scott

#humor #jayde-scott #vampire #humor

He's waiting for yu, young queen.' Shocked, I stared at Seoras. 'Heath?' The Warrior's look was wise and understanding - his voice gentle. 'Aye, yur Heath probably does await you somewhere in the future, but it is of your Guardian I speak. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#future #guardian #heath-luck #heaven #house

What about e-mail? It is e-mail, yes?" Morley asked, leaning even closer. "E-mail is a kind of electronic letter. It travels through the air." He seemed very smug that he knew that. "Well, not exactly, and would you please either BACK OFF or go find a shower? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #morley #rachel-caine #death

No way they could threaten him, not even with Amelie; he'd already given Amelie the finger on the way out of Morganville and he clearly wasn’t worried about her coming after him— or, if so, what would happen when she did. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #death

Liz wrenched her hand from his grasp, and this time, she stepped boldly forward. “I will stay and Michael can go.”  Her voice did not waiver as she pronounced her own death sentence. No matter what happened to her, she knew she couldn’t let him die. ↗

— Willow Cross

#death #liz #michael #the-dark-gifts #vampire

We've been here before. She knows I won't stop until she screams. Her pride won't let her scream until she's on the cusp of death. ↗

— Poppet

#vampire-romance #death