#vampires

Then I had another one of my well-researched epiphanies. His constant use of Purell, his love of video games, his lack of friends, planet gazing, and flail-run. “You’re a zombie,” I gasped. “No. I’m not,” he said. I went back to the vampire theory. ↗

— Harvard Lampoon

#nightlight #parody #twilight #vampires #zombies

My ideas about vampires may by romantic, but your attitudes toward women need a major overhaul. ↗

— Deborah Harkness

#vampires #attitude

There are stories about "good" vampires like there are stories about the loathly lady who, after a hearty meal of raw horse and hunting hound and maybe the odd huntsman or archer, followed by an exciting night in the arms of her chosen knight turns into the kindest and most beautiful lady the world has ever seen... [...] And the way I see it, the horse and the hound and the huntsman are still dead, and you have to wonder about the psychology of the chosen knight who goes along with all the carnage and the fun and frolic in bed on some dubious ground of "honor. ↗

— Robin McKinley

#romance #vampires #beauty

If I were pressed, I would admit that she was beautiful, in a dead bride sort of way. ↗

— Melika Dannese Lux

#dead-bride #humor #hybrid-vampires #macabre #vampires

What’s your name?' she asked, and surprised herself. But for some reason, she wanted to know. Dean’s brother—he hadn’t been just some nameless Bad Guy Number Four. This vampire wasn’t,either. He had a name, a history, maybe even people who cared what happened to him. My name is none of your business,' he said, and continued to stare out the window, even though there was nothing but blurry brick out there. Can I call you None for short? ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #business

Shane: "Bro," he said, in an injured tone, "I had to go out with a flamethrower, and you weren't there to see it." Michael: "Pics or it didn't happen." Shane: "Dude, little busy for pics. You know, throwing flame. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#morganville-vampires #vampire #business

Establishing dominance early in the relationship is key. Vampire children are like human children in that they can sense weakness. They will wait for you to be busy or too distracted to realize that you’ve given them permission to feed on the pizza guy. —Siring for the Stupid: A Beginner’s Guide to Raising Newborn Vampires ↗

— Molly Harper

#vampires #business

Vampires and humans; we are all monsters in our own way at the end of a dream, or a nightmare. ↗

— Cameron Jace

#snow-white-sorrow #vampires #dreams

Do women always take this long?” Darién sprang forward to find out what was keeping his bride, but Maxim, Shara and Serone stepped in front of him, blocking his path. “She’s late!” the prince fumed, his heart pounding, and his breathing ragged. “Maybe she changed her mind,” he said before Maxim snapped a picture of him with a digital camera, blinding him. “What the hell?” Darién shook his head to clear the momentary stun from the flash. Maxim shrugged nonchalantly, his wicked dark eyes glittering with humor, “Aleta put me in charge of photography--something about making a scrapbook…or whatever. Anyway…nothing says good times like a stressed-out groom on the verge of nuclear.” He smiled, wagging his dark brows up and down. “Priceless. ↗

— Beth Mikell

#paranormal #vampires #change

Better be," Eve said. She mock-bit at his finger. "I could totally date somebody else, you know." "And I could rent out your room." "And I could put your game console on eBay." "Hey," Shane protested. "Now you're just being mean. ↗

— Rachel Caine

#eve-rosser #michael-glass #morganville-vampires #dating