#w

You know, he doesn't have to be the only one bopped in the noggin when noggin-boppin' time rolls around. ↗

— Christopher Moore

#warning #humor

I know writers who use subtext, and they're all cowards. ↗

— Garth Marenghi

#writing #humor

She had a voice so husky it could have pulled a dogsled, and the gun she was holding gave me a bad case of barrel envy. ↗

— Patrick Major Dallas OR

#dogs #gun #humor #husky #metaphor

Good God, but life could be less than easy, not that he was unaware that it could certainly be a lot worse, but to go about in such a state, pulse high, face red, worried sick that someone would notice how nervous one was, was certainly less than ideal, and he felt sure that his body was secreting all kinds of harmful chemicals and that the more he worried about the harmful chemicals the faster they were pouring out of wherever it was they came from. ↗

— George Saunders

#life #worrying #humor

Salander in love. What a fucking joke. ↗

— Stieg Larsson

#lisbeth-salander #millennium-trilogy #stieg-larsson #the-girl-who-played-with-fire #humor

When she got back from taking Cassie to school Fancy knew that she ought to be working on her wilderness romance. She had promised thirty thousand words to her editor by tomorrow, and she had only written eleven. Specifically: His rhinoceros smelled like a poppadom: sweaty, salty, strange and strong. Her editor would cut that line. ↗

— Jaclyn Moriarty

#humor #romance-novel #writers #writers-block #humor

Im as good as dead, but they haven't buried me yet. ↗

— Walter Moers

#rumo #walter-moers #humor

Like so many substantial citizens of America, he had married young and kept on marrying, springing from blonde to blonde like the chamois of the Alps leaping from crag to crag. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#humor #marriage #trophy-wives #humor

You ever had a hickey? I want to give you a hickey." "Karl, we're not fourteen!" "Don't bloody care. I was in love with you when I was fourteen -- your neck owes me a hickey." (Karl & Elena) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#elena #humor #humorous #karl #paranormal-romance

Crew up, Nailer!" Lucky Girl shouted. "You think I'm going to pull your ass up here like a damn swank? ↗

— Paolo Bacigalupi

#jump #pull #rich #swank #humor