#w

This morning I took out a comma and this afternoon I put it back again. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#writing #humor

When you feel like throwing rocks, make sure they're ones no one can throw back. ↗

— Rebecca McKinsey

#boldness #humor #words #wordsmithing #humor

You need to stop thinking with your head, Mud Boy, and start thinking with your heart.” Artemis sighed. The heart was an organ for pumping oxygen-rich blood to the cells. It could no more think than an apple could tap-dance. ↗

— Eoin Colfer

#love #mulch #humor

All in all, I think that out of all musical genres, the world of metal is the most escapist one. Metal is also music for people who think for themselves. I think metalheads are smart people who possess a healthy dose of self-irony and a good sense of humor, and that appeals to me. I felt a strong affinity with the scene from the first moment on. ↗

— Tuomas Holopainen

#tuomas-holopainen #humor

Lucifer will be furious with you for failing, but it's not like he can do anything about it. Women don't always do what you want, even if you're Lord of the Underworld. ↗

— Trinity Faegen

#humor #strong-willed #women #humor

Money is the root of all evil.' Then we hear, 'A fool and his money are soon parted.' What are they talking about? If money is so evil, shouldn't it be, 'A wise man and his money are soon parted'? And another thing, how does a fool get money in the first place? I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them. ↗

— George Burns

#fool #humor #money #sayings #wisdom

Dancing?' Annabeth asked. Thalia nodded. She cocked her ear to the music and made a face. 'Ugh. Who chose Jesse McCartney?' Grover looked hurt. 'I did. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #jesse-mccartney #thalia-grace #humor

Writing poetry and reading books causes brain damage. ↗

— Pat Conroy

#poetry #writing #humor

Her chances of a decent marriage were about to be dashed-and all because of a ferret. ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#humor #marriage #poppy #spinster #humor

American long for a closed society in which everything can be bought, where laborers are either hidden away or dressed up as nonhumans, so as not to be disconcerting. This place is called Disney World ↗

— Adam Gopnik

#disney-world #humor #humor