#w

There are two types of people in this world. People who hate clowns...and clowns. (Bobby Pendragon) ↗

— D.J. MacHale

#humor #people #humor

I truly believe that if you have more friends than books, you have too many friends. Or not enough books. Probably both. ↗

— Zoë Marriott

#friendship #twitter-quotes #friendship

Watching Jace hug Isabelle, she tried to school her features into a happy and loving expression. "Are you all right?" Simon asked, with some concern. "Your eyes are crossing. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#clary-fray #humor #simon-lewis #humor

I was hot so I gave myself a haircut. I then saw a bald man sweating, so I offered to tweeze his eyebrows. He accepted and was so grateful that he offered to trade mustaches with me. In remembrance of that special bonding moment, I still wear his mustache over my left nipple.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bald #baldness #bond #bonding #eyebrows

I don't do what I'm told, but I might do what you want if you ask me nicely. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#imogen-herondale #impudence #jace-wayland #obedience #rebelliousness

Also, I'm sleeping with your mom. Just thought you should know. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #jocelyn-fray #simon-lewis #humor

Don't look at me in that tone of voice. ↗

— Dorothy Parker

#humor #wordplay #humor

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one? ↗

— Abraham Lincoln

#wearing #were #would

After a month or so in St. Louis, we were looking around desperately for a way to draw a few people into the ball park, it being perfectly clear by that time that the ball club wasn't going to do it unaided. ↗

— Bill Veeck

#around #ball #ball club #being #clear

I was in the game for love. After all, where else can an old-timer with one leg, who can't hear or see, live like a king while doing the only thing I wanted to do? ↗

— Bill Veeck

#doing #else #game #hear #i