#wi

He talks pretty big for a gutter wizard," he muttered. "You don't understand at all," said the wizard wearily. "I'm so scared of you my spine has turned to jelly, it's just that I'm suffering from an overdose of terror right now. I mean, when I've got over that then I'll have time to be decently frightened of you. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#fright #humor #rincewind #humor

Woman! Come out! I have—" She looked down at the bloodless grass, embarrassed. "I have come to rescue you," she finally said, as if admitting that she were covered in boils. ↗

— Catherynne M. Valente

#rescuing #witches #humor

I found myself suddenly jealous of the time when things were simple, when days centered on creek walks and tetherball, and your biggest worry was whether you'd have riding or sailing. There were no boys, there were no secrets or rumors, and there were no regrets. Not even fear of regret. There was just a best friend and endless hours to fill with Pixy Stix and laughing so hard you couldn't breathe. ↗

— Kathryn Williams

#growing-up #friendship

I can rap in a London accent, make weird faces, wear spandex, wigs, and black lipstick. I can be more creative than the average male rapper. ↗

— Nicki Minaj

#average #black #creative #faces #i

It's only hard until it becomes easy. ↗

— David A. Smith

#wisdom #humor

It is a peculiar part of the good photographer's adventure to know where luck is most likely to lie in the stream, to hook it, and to bring it in without unfair play and without too much subduing it. ↗

— James Agee

#bring #fair play #good #hook #know

If you find an Australian indoors, it's a fair bet that he will have a glass in his hand. ↗

— Jonathan Aitken

#bet #fair #find #glass #hand

Intelligence. Nothing has caused the human race so much trouble as intellignece. ↗

— Thelma Ritter as Stella in "Rear Window"

#humor #rear-window #humor

By some miracle, Charlotte's polite smile never wavered. It was a proud moment for her. After all, it wasn't every day that a little old lady told you right to your face that your bosom was as flat as a flounder. ↗

— Olivia Parker

#historical #humor #regency-england #to-wed-a-wicked-earl #humor

In fact, now you mention the subject, I have been very bad in my own small way. I don't think you should be so proud of that, though I am sure it must have been very pleasant. ↗

— Oscar Wilde

#pleasure #wickedness #humor