#women

Ah, when love dies, women lose two and a half inches in height. ↗

— M.C. Beaton

#love #women #love

She looked like autumn, when leaves turned and fruit ripened. ↗

— Sarah Addison Allen

#women #autumn

Woman was domesticated so that man could be tamed. When will we unite and rise up against the livestock? ↗

— Bauvard

#domesticity #funny #humor #livestock #love

If a gorgeous woman hits on me right off the bat, I’m suspicious. I wonder what she wants. If she hasn’t heard my wit, felt my charm, how could I appeal to her? I’m no Brad Pitt. So what is she after? Most likely it’s my horse cock. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#humor #women #funny

Women's hats contain so many possibilities for subtle sensual expression. When I wear one, it entices the opposite sex with erotic suggestions which they interpret without confusion and which I have never figured out. My wife is always able to predict when I'll forget our anniversary, how thin she’ll look on my birthday, and who ate her box of chocolates on Valentine's Day. Without my hat as her radar, I would have absolutely no insight into her total inexplicability. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #hats #humor #mysterious #women

Some people seemed to get all sunshine, and some all shadow… ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#louisa-may-alcott #shadow #sunshine #louisa-may-alcott

I wish I had no heart, it aches so… ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#little-women #louisa-may-alcott #louisa-may-alcott

[F]rom my years of understanding ... I happily chose this kind of life in which I yet live [i.e., unmarried], which I assure you for my own part hath hitherto best contented myself and I trust hath been most acceptable to God. From the which if either ambition of high estate offered to me in marriage by the pleasure and appointment of my prince ... or if the eschewing of the danger of my enemies or the avoiding of the peril of death ... could have drawn or dissuaded me from this kind of life, I had not now remained in this estate wherein you see me. But so constant have I always continued in this determination ... yet is it most true that at this day I stand free from any other meaning that either I have had in times past or have at this present. ↗

— Elizabeth I Tudor

#choice #contentment #dignity #empowerment #freedom

Women are constantly trying to commit suicide for love, but generally they take care not to succeed. ↗

— W. Somerset Maugham

#love #suicide #women #humor

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense ↗

— Chris Rock

#women #humor