#z

There must be a mistake," I said. He adjusted his bag on his shoulder. "That's a creative name. What do you shorten it to? Missy? ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#hunter-zaccadelli #humor

You have no idea how crazy I am, I should be wearing yellow Caution tape, I'm that bonkers. ↗

— Robin Benway

#humor #humor

You totally just outed us to the criminals. -Ty to Zane ↗

— Abigail Roux

#ty #zane #humor

Not to be rude, but it was all pointless," I noted from across the room. Four eyes narrowed at me. "What? I said 'not to be rude'. That's like saying 'God bless them' right after you say bad things about someone. It means it doesn't count! ↗

— Molly Harper

#rationalizations #humor

Oh, no-" They weren't even on the runway, and Jonah's father was already immersed in his BlackBerry. "Remember those 'Live Large with the Wiz Generation' posters? Well, guess how that translates into Chinese- 'Jonah Wizard Makes Your Ancestors Fat'. ↗

— Gordon Korman

#joke #jonah-wizard #mistake #translation #humor

I am the Wizard of Oz of housewives (in that I am both "Great and Terrible" and because I sometimes hide behind the curtains ↗

— Jenny Lawson

#humor #wizard-of-oz #humor

Who's that little brunette?" Suzanne asked. "I hate little petite types. Gregory doesn't look right with someone petite. Little face, little hands, little dainty feet." "Big boobs," Beth said, glancing up. ↗

— Elizabeth Chandler

#gregory #humor #petite #suzanne #humor

Zane glanced toward the stairwell, then back to Nick. "How close are you?" he finally blurted out. "I have no frame of reference, other than the oorah and your tongue down his throat. ↗

— Abigail Roux

#nick #zane #humor

Laziness is the first step towards efficiency. ↗

— Patrick Bennett

#laziness #humor

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blot-out #cloud #funny #humor