#zo

The owner of The Mandrake Hotel and Resort is a man called Rot, a billionaire like Bill Gates, only nerdier. 
 Rot Kugelschreiber isn’t the name he was born with. No, the name on his birth certificate is Dark Jar Tin Zoo. He chose that penname because in German it means Red Pen—and a Red Pen is mightier than a Red Sword, which in turn is mightier than a Rothschild. 
 Most of the time he goes by Rot, but occasionally he reverts back to Dark Jar Tin Zoo. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#funny #humor #pseudonym #funny

We must have a creature made of Darkness to break through the cage of Darkenss that imprisons your grandmother," Thanatos said. "That creature is me." Aurox stepped forward. "Oh, for shit's sake! We are absolutely fucked!" Aphrodite said. Sadly I had to agree with her. ↗

— P.C. Cast

#aurox #funny #hidden #house-of-night #house-of-night-series

You're not driving home if it's late, though. I am accustomed to dropping my women off at their door," he snickered because he knew she'd blush and he wanted her to, "and sometimes I put them to bed. ↗

— S.W. Frank

#mafia #home

A tomb is a vault, a vault is a home,” Mr. Sadlot said casually sniffing the flower in his lapel. “That’s where the deceased chose to reside and that is where he will be placed.” Kekaju and the Hidden Swamp ↗

— Robert W Sweeting

#ghost #middle-grade-fantasy #new-orleans #tomb #vault

Tell me what you want, what you really, really want," he said. "Braiiinnnnssss," we said in unison. ↗

— Maureen Johnson

#zombie-spice-girls #humor

Here have a drink' i lifted the goblet, and Stevie Rae took a big gulp. I frowned a little at her. 'what?' she whispered. 'Erik's yummy. ↗

— Kristin Cast and P.C. Cast

#stevie-rae-johnson #zoey-redbird #humor

Zoo: An excellent lace to study the habits of human beings ↗

— Evan Esar

#humor #zoo #humor

I suppose I knew on an intellectual level that graves weren't especially made for getting out of. I mean, you start with a hermetically sealed casket and then you dump six feet of dirt on top of it. Over time the earth gets compacted, which can't make it easy to dig through. So even if you're a very angry and determined zombie, you've kind of got your work cut out for you just escaping from the grave. Which was, I suppose, why we got hit with an initial wave of zombie bugs, birds and rodents. I bet some people would say if you've never picked undead mosquitoes out of your teeth, you've never lived. Under that definition, I'd be just as happy to have not lived, thanks. ↗

— C.E. Murphy

#zombies #humor

If you love someone, you're not supposed to want them to come back. Better a peaceful sleep in the earth than the life of a zombie--not really dead but not really alive, either. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#love #zombies #death

You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension: a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into… the Twilight Zone. ↗

— Rod Serling

#twilight-zone #imagination