Masochist Confessions

P.S. Forgive my grammar...

I have a fetish to read a homosexual (known as "yaoi" in Japan) content in manga (japanese comic) form. I'm a 20's college girl. I knew that "yaoi" stuff(s) since I was in high school.

And since I entered the college, my fetish to "yaoi" continue to the next level until now. But the "yaoi" stuff that I love to read is just in manga/fiction form. I don't like the "yaoi" or homosexual in the real life.

At first, I just read the "normal" genre (you know... Just around hug, kiss and sex) but then it was totally boring. I need something new. So I started to search other "yaoi" genres then I found the BDSM one.

I and I don't know why.... I love it! I love when the "bottom" (uke) one is being violated by his "top" (seme). Am I being masochistic then? *sighs*

#homosexual   #masochist   #bdsm   #yaoi  

I had these feelings before I found out there was a name for them: Sexual Masochism. I often fantasise about being in pain, and being hurt and raped. I have never been abused in real life and I know I wouldn't ever want to be for real, but something about it turns me on. I can't stop thinking about it now, and I feel like I'm going to explode. I want someone to grab me by my neck, slam me against a wall, and hold a knife to my throat. I want them to violate me and then slowly kill me. I want to be tortured, beaten, raped, and then discarded. I know I shouldn't think about it but I can't stop. I often yearn for a sadistic man who will do these things and more. What can I do? How do I stop?

#sex   #bdsm   #sadist   #masochist   #rape   #fantasies