#abe

The phone beeped - M fine but these two guys R on me like cougars on Adam Lambert. ↗

— Elisabeth Staab

#funny #king-of-darkness #pnr #witty-quotes #funny

Simon?” “Yeah?” “Can you tell me a story?” He blinked. “What kind of story?” “Something where the good guys win and the bad guys lose. A nd stay dead.” “So, like a fairy tale?” he said. He racked his brain. He knew only the Disney versions of fairy tales, and the first knew only the Disney versions of fairy tales, and the first image that came to mind was A riel in her seashell bra. He’d had a crush on her when he was eight. Not that this seemed like the time to mention it. “No.” The word was an exhaled breath. “We study fairy tales in school. A lot of that magic is real—but, anyway. No, I want something I haven’t heard yet.” “Okay. I’ve got a good one.” Simon stroked Isabelle’s hair, feeling her lashes flutter against his neck as she closed her eyes. “A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away… ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#simon-lewis #fairy-tales

Get over here. Sheldon's had an idea." "Who's Sheldon?", said Isabelle. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-lost-souls #isabelle-lightwood #magnus-bane #the-mortal-instruments #magnus-bane

I got home from the FBi that day, put on my pajamas got a pint of Chunky Monkey, and watched 'The Notebook'. Five times. Everyone left me alone. I suspect they were a little afraid of me. I went up to my room and listened to Taylor Swift's 'White Horse' on replay, knowing she was the only person in the world who could relate. ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#digit #farrah #lol #lol

The stench that surrounded me suggested that the tarp over my face had been previously used either to transport fertiliser or as toilet paper. ↗

— Annabel Monaghan

#digit #lol #lol

Apple of My Eye is a twisted collection of short stories by Amy Grech, including the sexy and deadly title story that makes you want to stay home with the door locked and the lights on. Grech's stories are sinister, sneaky, convoluted and dangerous—and absolutely not to be missed!” — Jonathan Maberry, Bram Stoker Award-Winning Author of Ghost Road Blues and Dead Man's Song ↗

— Jonathan Maberry

#home

So when your hopes on fire, But you know your desire, Don't hold a glass over the flame, Don't let your heart grow cold, I will call you by name, I will share your road. ↗

— Mumford & Sons

#hopeless-wanderer #lyrics #mumford-and-sons #song #song-lyrics

There should be a phone service, I thought, something like 1-800-MEDIUM-1.Where an automated voice would direct you. Press one if an object in your home is levitating. Press two if there is ectoplasm oozing out of your walls. Press three if spirits are disrupting your cable service. Press four if you've inherited your mother's psychic abilities. ↗

— Elizabeth Cody Kimmel

#school-spirit #home

I'm calm," Rachel insisted. "Every time I'm around you, some monsters attack us. What's to be nervous about?" "Look," I said. "I'm sorry about the band room. I hope they didn't kick you our or anything." "Nah. They asked me a lot of questions about you. I played dumb." "Was it hard?" Annabeth asked. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#dumb #humor #insult #percy-jackson #rachel-dare

This is Annabeth,” Jason said. “Uh, normally she doesn't judo-flip people. ↗

— Rick Riordan

#heroes-of-olympus #humor #jason-grace #percy-jackson-and-the-olympians #the-mark-of-athena