#age

He smiled. "I suppose I thought we'd have a madly impractical, terrifyingly modern sort of marriage. One based on love. Not to mention dangerous undertakings and hair's-breadth escapes from burning buildings, high ledges and exploding sewers." "And bickering." "Always that, yes." "Assuming I want to marry at all." "True. I know of no good way of forcing you to do anything." "And you're mad enough to think it could work - one day?" He cupped her face in his hands. His smile was so brilliant it seemed to illuminate the room. "I think it would be heaven." She trembled, then. "You have a very strange idea of heaven." "Kiss me and see. ↗

— Y.S. Lee

#love #marriage #romance #humor

Humor is tragedy plus time. ↗

— Mark Twain

#tragedy #humor

What the semicolon's anxious supporters fret about is the tendency of contemporary writers to use a dash instead of a semicolon and thus precipitate the end of the world. Are they being alarmist? ↗

— Lynne Truss

#english-language #grammar #humor #lynne-truss #punctuation

It's weird, marriage. It's like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their 'other half. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#control-freaks #control-issues #cynic #cynical #cynical-humor

I ignored him, concentrating on Lilith. "According to the stories, after you were expelled from Eden you went down into Hell, where you coupled with demons and gave birth to all the monsters that have plagued the world." "I was young," said Lilith. "You know how it is. We all do things we later regret, when we're being rebellious teenagers. ↗

— Simon R. Green

#lilith #monsters #rebellion #teenagers #humor

When you have been just told that the girl you love is definitely betrothed to another, you begin to understand how Anarchists must feel when the bomb goes off too soon. ↗

— P.G. Wodehouse

#engagement #humor #jealousy #marriage #humor

... the story of my marriage, which is the great joy and astonishment of my life, is too much like a fairy tale, the German kind, unsweetened by Disney. ↗

— Ann Patchett

#marriage #humor

My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. ↗

— Jimmy Durante

#marriage #humor

I’ll accompany you too, fair lady,” said Reven. “I would fain meet your grandmother.” “You would what?” said Elfwyn. “He means he’d like to,” said Jinx. Some of the books in Simon’s house used old-fashioned words like that. ↗

— Sage Blackwood

#humor #humor

But aside from a few migraines, you can't possibly imagine any OBEY drawbacks that CEASE REPRODUCTION could come with SUBMIT merging CONSUME your thoughts with EMBRACE YOUR CULLING experimental technology CONFORM TO SOCIAL ORDER from an STAY ASLEEP extremely powerful DIE corporation, wait what? ↗

— Andrew Hussie

#subliminal-messages #technology #imagination