#ai

It's hard enough to work and raise a family when your kids are all healthy and relatively normal, but when you add on some kind of disability or disease, it can just be such a burden. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#add #burden #disability #disease #enough

Again, I find it difficult to be taken care of and rarely acknowledge it, and every act he does registers, but I also just need to verbally acknowledge him and hug him. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#act #again #also #care #difficult

I was raised Catholic and I'm Presbyterian now, but I've always been a Christian, regardless of denomination. I believe that Jesus is the way. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#been #believe #catholic #christian #denomination

Most of my friends from college became dental hygienists or went into retail, a lot went into sales. They all started getting married and having kids and buying homes and I was still living like a college student. ↗

— Patricia Heaton

#buying #college #college student #dental #friends

I like refried beans. That's why I wanna try fried beans, because maybe they're just as good and we're just wasting time. You don't have to fry them again after all. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#again #beans #because #fried #fry

An escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#break #convenience #escalator #just #never

I wish my name was Brian because maybe sometimes people would misspell my name and call me Brain. That's like a free compliment and you don't even gotta be smart to notice it. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#brain #brian #call #compliment #even

I was at this casino minding my own business, and this guy came up to me and said, "You're gonna have to move, you're blocking a fire exit." As though if there was a fire, I wasn't gonna run. If you're flammible and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit. ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#business #came #casino #exit #fire

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.' ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#banana #friend #frozen #i #later

It's weird... people say they're not like apes. Now how do you explain football then? ↗

— Mitch Hedberg

#football #how #like #now #people