#ai

Himmlisch ist's wenn ich bezwungen Meine irdische Begier; Aber doch wenn's nich gelungen Hatt' ich auch recht huebsch Plaisir! Loosely translated: It is heavenly, when I overcome My earthly desires But nevertheless, when I'm not successful, It can also be quite pleasurable. ↗

— Leo Tolstoy

#sexuality #unfaithful #humor

Smartass Disciple: Why we shouldn’t judge others? Master of Stupidity: Don’t! Unless you are paid for it. ↗

— Toba Beta

#judge #life #paid #truth #humor

I don’t think you’re supposed to be able to get at that information,” said Leslie. “Don’t look,” said Goldstein, peering over Charles’s shoulder. “We don’t know anything about illegal hacking.” He whistled cheerily. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#charles-cornick #fair-game #goldstein #hacking #humor

Make sure she can reach you 24hours a day. ↗

— Harry H. Harrison Jr.

#raising-a-girl #raising-kids #family

It’s that I think Will is angry with me,” Tessa explained. “So whatever he told you—” He laughed. “Will is angry with everyone,” he said. “I don’t let it color my judgment. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#jem-castairs #tessa-gray #will-herondale #humor

My girlfriend is a party girl angel who can kick some arse and cook. ↗

— Wendy Higgins

#humor #kaidan #love #humor

I'm taking a quick shower. I'm gross. I need to be clean." "You shouldn't be doing that." The door handle jingled. It wasn't locked. "Alex!" "I'm naked," I warned. Silence and then, "Is that supposed to make me not want to come in there? ↗

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

#alex #deity #humor #humor

My teacher asked my favorite color. ... I said ‘Rainbow’.... and I was punished to stand out of my class. ↗

— Saket Assertive

#humor #life #philosophy #rainbow #humor

It is a popular fact that nine-tenths of the brain is not used and, like most popular facts, it is wrong. Not even the most stupid Creator would go to the trouble of making the human head carry around several pounds of unnecessary gray goo if its only real purpose was, for example, to serve as a delicacy for certain remote tribesmen in unexplored valleys. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#humor #humor

I drank some too-hot coffee and scowled at him, annoyed although I couldn't remember why. The light from the lounge was leaking in, highlighting his spiky blond hair. I decided that must be it. "You really hate my hair, don't you?" he asked, a smile flickering over his lips so fast I might have imagined it. "Yeah" "Why?" I reached out to touch it, and was surprised as always to find it mostly soft. Just a little stiff in places from whatever product he used on it. It felt weird, imagining Pritkin having anything in his hair but sweat. But he must have; nobody's did that all on its own. "It's like...angry hair," I said, trying to pat it down and failing miserably. He caught my wrist. "Most people would say that suits me." "I'm not most people." "I know. ↗

— Karen Chance

#cassie-palmer #pritkin #imagination