#all

She’s not showing any interest in me and she looks like she doesn’t want to be here. Should I take off her handcuffs? I thought kidnap victims were supposed to fall in love with their captors?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#fall-in-love #handcuffs #interest #kidnap #kidnapped

We who think we are about to die will laugh at anything. ↗

— Terry Pratchett

#gallows-humor #humor #laughing #death

And now," Eric yelled into his mircophone, "we're going to sing a new song-one we just wrote. This one's for my girlfriend. We've been going out for three weeks, and, damn, our love is true. We're gonna be together forever, baby. This one's called 'Bang You Like a Drum. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#crazy #eric #funny #humor #love

I guess the whole world is made up of things coming together and things falling apart, ↗

— Emily Wing Smith

#world #love

It means that two people start loving each other. I guess because it can feel really sudden and because it's powerful. Like gravity--an unstoppable force. ↗

— Heather Anastasiu

#fall-in-love #falling-in-love #in-love #love #love

You look as scary as a buttered muffin. ↗

— Tamora Pierce

#harmlessness #humor #tortall #humor

It was like there was some parallel universe we all vanished off to where we had all this sex. ↗

— Kazuo Ishiguro

#kathy #parallel #sex #universe #humor

I'd sooner wear white shoes in February, drink unsweetened tea, and eat Miracle Whip instead of Duke's than utter the words 'you guys'. ↗

— Celia Rivenbark

#southern #y-all #humor

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately. ↗

— Dave Barry

#call #humor #life #men #phone

It was one of those perfect New York October afternoons, when the explosion of oranges and yellows against the bright blue sky makes you feel like your life is passing through your fingers, that you've felt this autumn-feeling before and you'll probably get to feel it again, but one day you won't anymore, because you'll be dead. ↗

— Sarah Dunn

#fall #humor #humor