#am

A line of perspiration slipped down my spine like a waterslide at an unamusement park. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

He pulled out a dagger from ... she wasn't sure where. Did he have that in his loin cloth? What else does he have in there? (Amy's thoughts, The Witching Pen) ↗

— Dianna Hardy

#dianna-hardy #humor #humorous #paranormal-romance #the-witching-pen

My brother got shot three times two months ago, and he didn’t get the fever.” “I bet your family gets shot at a lot, huh? ↗

— Shelly Laurenston

#humor #lock #family

He gives me the hairy eyeball, and asks me to help him find his pancreas. ↗

— A. Lee Martinez

#humor #vampire #humor

It was pretty late and the streets were quiet so she was almost sure no one had seen her drag the soul eater into the alley... where she cut his head off with a samurai sword. God, she loved her life. ↗

— Samantha Young

#samurai #sword #violent #humor

Did you ever think about the creation of the flame-thrower? Someone, somewhere, at some time must have been sitting on his porch, and said, thoughtfully, 'I want to set him on fire.' gesturing to his neighbor. His friend who sat beside him and happened to be handy with tools said, 'I can do that.' Thus, we have a flame thrower. ↗

— John Larson

#humor #inventions #humor

Para los que sufrimos de amores, la mejor cura a nuestro corazon roto siempre a sido la mas simple... Renunciar a quien nunca nos ha correspondido. ↗

— Carlos Barrios

#love #love

He offered her power, money, status... a giant prison, all in exchange for only...her soul. ↗

— Coco J. Ginger

#love #lovers #money #power #prison

He had in those days imagined himself capable of extraordinary heroisms and endurances which would make the girl he loved forget the awkward hands and the spotty chin of adolescence. Everything had seemed possible. One could laugh at daydreams, but so long as you had the capacity to daydream there was a chance that you might develop some of the qualities of which you dreamed. It was like the religious discipline: words however emptily repeated can in time form a habit, a kind of unnoticed sediment at the bottom of the mind, until one day to your own surprise you find yourself acting on the belief you thought you didn't believe in. ↗

— Graham Greene

#dreams

You were thinking you had a chance to do what you always do,” said James with kindness I didn’t deserve. “You were going to give yourself up in order to save the people you love. It’s a bit of a problem with you, you know. ↗

— Aimee Carter

#love