#amp

You took a bath without me?" I smiled to myself at the accusation in his voice. ↗

— Katie MacAlister

#bath #comedy #love #vampires #love

Does it matter how long they were together that night? To lovers, an hour can last a century. But even for lovers, every hour ends. ↗

— Scott Snyder

#century #hour #love #vampire #love

Cops, I've learned, are like vampires; they can't come in unless you invite them. ↗

— Jessica Warman

#humor #vampires #humor

Humanity was a passing notion to him; something he liked to try on for size and model in the dressing room, but never actually felt compelled to buy. ↗

— Jane Bled

#author #dark #ebook #glbt #humor

Dear God, that man has a magnificent body.' ............. 'It’s like having a cupcake thrust in front of your face and not being allowed to have a lick of the icing. ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#lust #vampire #humor

You know...acting like a dick...won't make yours any bigger. ↗

— J.L. McCoy

#vampire #humor

Stamp: "Fine Maddy, Whatever. Take your little punk loser to the dance. I don't need you, Maddy. I can ask two dozen, three dozen chicks right now to go with me." Maddy: "Well then," I guess you better start stocking up on corsages. ↗

— Rusty Fischer

#maddy #stamp #humor

A line of perspiration slipped down my spine like a waterslide at an unamusement park. ↗

— Michelle Rowen

#vampire #humor

He gives me the hairy eyeball, and asks me to help him find his pancreas. ↗

— A. Lee Martinez

#humor #vampire #humor

Carlos: So, what, were they psychos, or... Seth: Did they look like psychos? Is that what they looked like? They were vampires. Psychos do not explode when sunlight hits them, I don't give a fuck how crazy they are! ↗

— Quentin Tarantino

#vampires #humor