#ann

For the love of all humanity, shake what your mama gave you! ↗

— Jim Benton

#love

Do you really think he was flirting with me?" "Let's see. He gave you candy you hate - I saw your face - and a CD of songs..." He looks at the CD. "All of these are, like, twenty years old at least. Figures. Oh, and he groped your face. Sounds like true love to me. ↗

— Elizabeth Scott

#hannah #humour #josh #love

What had happened to our love? Somehow it had faded, or worn out, or simply withered away. ↗

— Carolyn Meyer

#love

Well in two months, it'd be sunbathing time. That made me smile. I enjoyed lying in the sun in a little bikini, timing myself carefully so I didn't burn. I loved the smell of coconut oil. And I don't want to hear any lectures about how bad tanning is for you. That's my vice. Everybody gets one. ↗

— Charlaine Harris

#coconut-oil #lectures #sookie-stackhouse #sunbathing #tanning

I want you back, Annabelle.” This time my laughter is full of nothing but genuine humor. It’s that ‘oh my god, I can’t believe that’ kind of humor. I lean forward and put my face in my palms, still laughing. “Holy crap,” I say in-between laughs, “that’s hilarious.” I peek up at him to see his disgruntled expression and then bust up laughing again.  “I’m serious,” he grunts out, looking cute in his exasperation, damn him. Not done, I hold up a hand. “Oh, oh, wait. Just let me go get my gun so you can shoot me again. Of course I want to get back together with you, Gabriel.” Putting on a serious face, I say earnestly, “He shoots me because he loves me. ↗

— April Brookshire

#gabriel #humor

Hi, this is Ganymede, cup-bearer to Zeus, and when I'm out buying wine for the Lord of the Skies, I always buckle up! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#greek #humor #mythology #public-service-announcement #safety

Jason straightened his shirt. “What’s ‘chauvinistic’ mean?” “It’s in the dictionary next to a picture of your father,” muttered Kyle. ↗

— Kathleen Peacock

#johanna-s-likes #humor

Self-doubt is a persuasive mistress; careful not to shag her or you’ll never get your balls back.” - Simon Hunt ↗

— Dannika Dark

#careful #dannika-dark #funny #humor #mageri

Now I understand why King Stannis let the wildlings through the Wall. He means for us to eat them. ↗

— George R.R. Martin

#humor #stannis-baratheon #wall #wildlings #humor

A hat should be taken off when greeting a lady, and left off the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat. ↗

— P.J. O'Rourke

#humor #manners #humor