#ant

You can’t has,' he whispered softly, 'not yours. ↗

— Wil Wheaton

#fantasy #geekery #humor #humor

Leo,” Jason said, “you’re weird.” “Yeah, you tell me that a lot.” Leo grinned. “But if you don’t remember me, that means I can reuse all my old jokes...! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#humor #young-adult #humor

Roger said, 'I don't know about having a shrink around all the time. Are you analyzing me right now?' Sophie rolled her eyes. 'How original. No, I'm not analyzing you. It'd take a whole team of shrinks to figure out your crazy ass, and I simply don't have the time or energy. ↗

— Jennifer Lane

#new-job #psychologist #romance #romantic-suspense #with-good-behavior

I don’t think we’ve been introduced,” I said. “My name’s Zara. I’m strong, I’m fast, and I totally kick ass. It’s great to be me...but that means right now it sucks to be you. ↗

— Skyla Dawn Cameron

#urban-fantasy #humor

Actually, [Wax] said, we came here because we needed someplace safe to think for a few hours." Ranette: "Your mansion isn't safe?" Wax: "My butler failed to poison me, then tried to shoot me, then set off an explosive in my study" Ranette: "Huh.... You need to screen these people better, Wax. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #safety #screening #servants #humor

I hop onto the stage and joke-sing: 'The Phaaaanntom of the Opera is there, innnnnside your mind.' I attack the curtain with a flourish and sing on, 'Innnnside your mind. ↗

— Anne Eliot

#gray #humor #phantom-of-the-opera #humor

We want to fight.” “And I want J.K. Rowling to keep writing in the Potterverse, but I know that’s never going to happen,” I said blithely. ↗

— Laura Kreitzer

#fallen-legion #fantasy #fiction #humor #j-k-rowling

But it is cute. It's such a boy thing to do. Drop dead. Aw, you say the most romantic things. ↗

— Eliezer Yudkowsky

#fantasy #humor #humor

Lydia: What the devil do you mean by creeping up on me? You're suppose to be in a brothel. Vere: I lied. I can't believe you fell for the old going-to-a-brothel ruse. You didn't even look out the window to make sure I'd gone away. ↗

— Loretta Chase

#humor #humor

A wise man once said that any human being is capable of infinite achievement, so long as it’s not the work they’re supposed to be doing. ↗

— K.J. Parker

#humor #humor