#are

I have a black sense of humor. You try living my life, see what color yours turns. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#karen-marie-moning #humor

So." [Isobel] cleared her throat. "What are we doing?" "We," [Varen] said at last, "are doing a project on Poe." "Didn't he marry his cousin or something?" "The man is a literary god and that's all you have to say? ↗

— Kelly Creagh

#isobel #nevermore #varen #humor

Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off." Still peeing, Ben looks over at me smirking. "You´re gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro. ↗

— John Green

#friendship #mystery #philosophy #road-trip #young-adults

Usually a family is led through the mom or the dad and their career and for the family to be led by my career, even though God has led it, could be a lot of pressure. ↗

— Stacie Orrico

#could #dad #even #family #god

It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows ↗

— Erma Bombeck

#parenting #humor

The whole point of a sacrifice is that you give up something you never really wanted in the first place. People are doing it around you all the time. They give up their careers, say - or their beliefs - or sex. ↗

— John Osborne

#beliefs #careers #doing #first #give

My love for you would blot out the sun like a cloud made out of yogurt. I hope you brought a spoon. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #blot-out #cloud #funny #humor

My dad had once told me, crimson-red deep in “the talk,” that with sons, all he had to worry about was one penis, but with a daughter, he had to worry about everyone else’s. ↗

— Nicole Williams

#parents-and-children #the-sex-talk #humor

Are you decent?" a woman's voice called, pushing the door cautiously ajar. "Nay, but we're clothed," Cian purred. ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning #spell-of-the-highlander #funny

Propping the mirror against the wall near the door, he waved a hand at it and clipped, "Drustan: Cian MacKeltar. Cian: Drustan MacKeltar." "Dageus," Drustan's voice was soft as velvet, never a good sign, "why are you introducing me to a mirror? ↗

— Karen Marie Moning

#dageus #drustan #funny #highlander #karen-marie-moning