#ark

Oh, the boots were on the other eight feet now. ↗

— Jonathan Stroud

#bartimaeus #bartimaeus-trilogy #humor #humor

My friend died doing what he loved ... Heroin. ↗

— Deanne Smith

#humor

He sits next to me, careful to avoid my hair that's splayed out around my head like blood. A bullet to the forehead, boom, blond waves everywhere. ↗

— Lauren DeStefano

#humor

Do I look like a shallow Summer girl to you?' She tossed her silver hair, offended. 'I’m a Winter Court royal. I kill silly Summer flowerlets with frost when I yawn. ↗

— Vicki Keire

#seasons #supernaturals #humor

This “who’s on top” banter continues until one wrestler (who has slyly gone to hide behind a chair) leaps upon his rival with an animal cry. The pair then proceeds to create a series of tableaux that appear to be from the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana’s ancient Indian textbook of carnal satisfaction. Occasionally, the tension is broken by a wrestler who picks up a large object, such as a table, to throw on the other’s head, as if suddenly disgusted by his forbidden love. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#pro-wrestling #snark #humor

And-he was ashamed to admit--he had been known to carry off the occasional roll of duct tape. That stuff could be used for everything. ↗

— Sharon Ashwood

#paranormal-romance #sharon-ashwood #the-dark-forgotten #unchained #humor

Drive-Thru McDonalds was more expensive than I thought...once you've hired the car... ↗

— Tim Key

#laugh #humor

What’s life in this nation? Collect emptiness in a household of cornflakes. Transient fuel gobbles attention, the television aches, the truth walks. Scheme worms welcome your corpse, trap clicks and you’re in heaven, bored rigid ↗

— Steve Aylett

#humor

Don't tell me it's going to fucking be okay! I am not okay with being that fucker's pinata! ↗

— Nenia Campbell

#fear #horror #lisa #humor

The scariest, most terrifying thing that I fear?" Yes." My Imagination." I thought you were going to say "Fear, itself." Then you have a small imagination." Roland and Eddie ↗

— Stephen King

#gunslinger #roland #the-dark-tower #imagination