#snark

Mal: Doctor, I'm taking your sister under my protection. If any thing happens to her, anything at all, I swear to you I will get very choked up. Honestly, there could be tears. ↗

— Joss Whedon

#humour #snark #sisters

You didn’t feed from her,” he said, and this was not a question. “Swill poison? Not my kind of fun, little brother.” One corner of Stefan’s mouth quirked up. He made no response to this, but simply looked at Damon with eyes that were... knowing. Damon bridled. “I told the truth!” “Going to take it up as a hobby? ↗

— L.J. Smith

#humanity #humor #snark #humor

how devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally weak drinks you ordinarily serve at these occasions are not sufficient to dull my senses to your boyfriend's futile efforts to grope me in the hallway. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#insults #snark #humor

How many kids are in the Graveyard?" "A bunch." "Who sends your supplies?" "George Washington. Or is it Abraham Lincoln? I forget." "How often do you receive new arrivals?" "About as often as you beat your wife. ↗

— Neal Shusterman

#humorous #risa-ward #sarcasm #sarcastic #snark

This “who’s on top” banter continues until one wrestler (who has slyly gone to hide behind a chair) leaps upon his rival with an animal cry. The pair then proceeds to create a series of tableaux that appear to be from the Kama Sutra, Vatsyayana’s ancient Indian textbook of carnal satisfaction. Occasionally, the tension is broken by a wrestler who picks up a large object, such as a table, to throw on the other’s head, as if suddenly disgusted by his forbidden love. ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#pro-wrestling #snark #humor

Because I want to have sex with him--and because that's sinful--I'm blushing and flushing furiously under his scrutinizing scrutiny. ↗

— Jess C. Scott

#crime-fiction #drama #e-l-james #fifty-shades #fifty-shades-of-grey

Miss Fitt, you know curiosity gets men killed." I grinned. "Then I daresay it's good I'm a woman. ↗

— Susan Dennard

#humor #snark #humor

Spike (to Giles) : Oh, poor Watcher. Did your life pass before your eyes — 'Cuppa tea, cuppa tea... almost got shagged... cuppa tea'? ↗

— Marti Noxon

#humor #snark #humor

Penny: But, he turned out to be really sweet. Sometimes people are layered like that. There’s something totally different underneath than what’s on the surface. Dr Horrible: And sometimes there’s a third even deeper level and that’s the same as the top surface one. Penny: Huh? Dr Horrible: Like with pie. ↗

— 'Dr Horrible' writers

#human-nature #humor #snark #humor

How can I deal with annoying persons in a way that utterly crushes them witohut tarnishing my carefully developed reputation or extending my already lengthy prison sentence? ↗

— Lady Arabella Snark

#insults #snark #humor