#ay

What a funny watch!’ she remarked. ‘It tells the day of the month, and doesn’t tell what o’clock it is!’ ‘Why should it?’ muttered the Hatter. ‘Does YOUR watch tell you what year it is?’ ‘Of course not,’ Alice replied very readily: ‘but that’s because it stays the same year for such a long time together.’ ‘Which is just the case with MINE,’ said the Hatter. ↗

— Lewis Carroll

#funny

I'd like to thank readers. Every time you open a book, it is a strike against ignorance. Unless you're reading Sarah Palin. ↗

— Libba Bray

#libba-bray #funny

Valentine's day without your love is like a year without the Internet. ↗

— Santosh Kalwar

#internet #love #valentines-day #funny

Alright, manly man,” he says. “Go prove that you’re a man. ↗

— Jessica Sorensen

#jessica-sorensen #kayden-and-seth #manly-man #funny

How did you get in?" "I move in mysterious ways." "God moves in mysterious ways. You move like lightning - here one moment, gone the next. ↗

— Becca Fitzpatrick

#funny #hush-hush #mysterious-ways #nora-and-patch #nora-grey

I try not to laugh at the fact that even when she’s drunk, she has a hard time saying it. “Where do you want me to take you?” She drops her head back against my chest. “You can just keep carrying me. It’s very relaxing. ↗

— Jessica Sorensen

#funny #jessica-sorensen #kayden-and-callie #funny

I'm going to take a shower," I said and prepared for the comment I knew was coming. "You know what they say, conserve water and shower with a friend. ↗

— Chelsea M. Cameron

#funny #hunter-zaccadelli #my-favorite-mistake #shower #taylor-and-hunter

Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly. ↗

— William Shakespeare

#flings #friendship #love #relationships #friendship

Tod crossed his arms over his snug white T-shirt, silently giving me the floor. Fortunately, I was prepared. "Sabine ambushed me in the hall this morning and gave me a lecture on sex." Tod's brow's rose halfway to his hairline. "I hope you took notes... ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#kaylee-cavanaugh #notes #sabine-campbell #tod-hudson #funny

Neither sleet nor rain nor a half inch of snow will compel me to dress like a lumberjack. ↗

— Gayle Forman

#gayle-forman #if-i-stay #lumberjack #quote #funny