#ay

It's absolutely stupid that we live without an ozone layer. We have men, we've got rockets, we've got saran wrap - fix it! ↗

— Lewis Black

#fix #got #layer #live #men

What I find most disturbing about Valentine's Day is, look, I get that you have to have a holiday of love, but in the height of flu season, it makes no sense. ↗

— Lewis Black

#day #disturbing #find #flu #get

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#five #grandmother #hell #know #miles

Faith is part of who I am, yes. I was raised Christian Scientist. The most important thing I saw every single week on the wall at Sunday school was the Golden Rule. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#christian #every #faith #golden #golden rule

Even before I knew I was gay, I knew I didn't want to have a child. I knew I didn't want to have one. I never want to have to release it from me. Listen, I love babies. I love children. And I melt when I'm around them. I also love my freedom and I love that I can sleep at night. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#around #babies #before #child #children

I believe that summer is our time, a time for the people, and that no politician should be allowed to speak to us during the summer. They can start talking again after Labor Day. ↗

— Lewis Black

#again #allowed #believe #day #during

I don't need politicians doing a 24-hour prayer with Oral Roberts to get our country back on track. ↗

— Lewis Black

#country #doing #get #i #need

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor's wife right now. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#desperately #guy #had #high #high school

I don't pay attention to the number of birthdays. It's weird when I say I'm 53. It just is crazy that I'm 53. I think I'm very immature. I feel like a kid. That's why my back goes out all the time, because I completely forget I can't do certain things anymore - like doing the plank for 10 minutes. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#attention #back #because #birthdays #certain

I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left. ↗

— Ellen DeGeneres

#because #every #everything #everywhere #exposed