#ay

Peter to Austin: "Hard-ons don't make you think less. They make you think stupid. Which makes me think you must have one 24/7. ↗

— Dani Alexander

#gay #glbt #humor #insults #mm

I’m glad you think so. I’ve always considered my sense of humor to be largely underappreciated, so it’s nice to finally meet a fan. ↗

— Rachel Vincent

#humor

On your birthday you should throw me a party. This is my advice for everybody, especially my clones. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#birthday #clone #funny #humor #funny

Purple light passed over the paper, but nothing happened. "Next!" Amy said. She was sure the man in black was going to burst in on them any second. "Whoa!" Dan said. Amy gripped his arm. "You found it?" "No, but look! This whole essay - 'To the Royal Academy.' He wrote a whole essay on farts!" Dan grinned with delight. "He's proposing a scientific study on different fart smells. You're right, Amy. This guy was a genius! ↗

— Rick Riordan

#ben-franklin #dan-cahill #essay #fart #humor

It's the perfect solution. We argue all the time. We can't stand each other. It's like we're already married." -Leo Hathaway to Cat- ↗

— Lisa Kleypas

#hathaways #humor #leo #marriage #humor

The door buzzer sounded again. The two boys exchanged a single look before both bolting down the narrow hallway to the door. Jordan got there first. He grabbed for the coatrack that stood by the door, ripped the coats off it, and flung the door wide, the rack held aboe his head like a javelin. On the other side of the door was Jace. He blinked. "Is that a coatrack?" Jordan slammed the coatrack down on the ground and sighed. "If you'd been a vampire, this would have been a lot more useful." "Yes," said Jace. "Or, you know, just someone with a lot of coats. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#city-of-fallen-angels #coatrack #coats #funny #humor

Is your inner vampire different from your... outer vampire? Deffinitely. He wants me to wear midriff-baring shirts and a fedora. I'm fighting it. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#humor #simon-lewis #humor

Tessa put a hand against the wall as she made her way numbly down the stairs. What had she almost done? What had she nearly told Will? ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #will-herondale

Will’s eyes met Tessa’s as she came closer, almost tripping again over the torn hem of her gown. For a moment, they were in perfect understanding. Jem was what they could still look each other straight in the eye about. On the topic of Jem, they were both fierce and unyielding. Tessa saw Will’s hand tighten on Jem’s sleeve. “She’s here,” he said. Jem’s eyes opened slowly. Tessa fought to keep the look of shock from her face. His pupils were blown out, his irises a thin ring of silver around the black. “Ni shou shang le ma, quin ai de?” he whispered. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#tessa-gray #will-herondale #will-herondale

Tess?” A soft voice at the door; she looked up and saw Will there, silhouetted in the light from the corridor. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#will-herondale #will-herondale