#be

The poor things keep calling in those – those pumbles, I think they're called – you know, the ones who mend pipes and things – " "Plumbers?" " – exactly, yes, but of course they're flummoxed. ↗

— J.K. Rowling

#humor #plumber #weasley #humor

Most of the upper management of I.S. were undead. I always thought it was because the job was easier if you didn't have a soul. ↗

— Kim Harrison

#humor #management #humor

I want to leave a mark. But Van Houten: The marks humans leave are too often scars. ↗

— John Green

#leave-a-mark #scars #van-houten-being-a-douche #the-fault-in-our-stars

Upon walking into Eva's kitchen, something profound happened to Delphine. She experienced a fabulous expansion of being. Light-headed, she felt a swooping sensation and then a quiet, as though she'd settled like a bird. ↗

— Louise Erdrich

#home #kitchen #home

Few things would gratify me as much as a rediscovered respect for things belonging to others. Not abusing the property of others (or that of the community) is one of the ways in which we respect others. It is an essential part of being considerate guests, no matter where we are: in an airplane, in a friend's home, in a movie theater, in a doctor's office, in a public library, or in a public square. ↗

— P.M. Forni

#property #respecting-others #home

Isabelle snorted, "All the boys are guy. In this truck, anyway. Well, not you, Simon." "You noticed," said Simon. "I think of myself as a freewheeling bisexual," added Magnus. "Please never say those words in front of my parents," said Alec. ↗

— Cassandra Clare

#bisexual #cassandra-clare #city-of-lost-souls #funny #gay

A recent survey or North American males found 42% were overweight, 34% were critically obese and 8% ate the survey. ↗

— Banksy

#obesity #statistics #humor

Oh, man," Xavier groaned. "See what you've done--now I'm stressing." "You can't! You're the stable one!" Xavier laughed and I realized his distress had been feigned to illustrate a point. He wasn't worried in the slightest. "Just relax. Go and run a bath or have a shot of brandy." "Okay." "That second bit was a joke. We both know you can't hold your liquor. ↗

— Alexandra Adornetto

#humor #xavier-woods #humor

Look! A trickle of water running through some dirt! I'd say our afternoon just got booked solid! ↗

— Bill Watterson

#calvin-and-hobbes #comic #comic-strips #comics #hobbes

I keep turning over new leaves, and spoiling them, as I used to spoil my copybooks; and I make so many beginnings there never will be an end. (Jo March) ↗

— Louisa May Alcott

#beginnings #end #fresh-start #new-leaf #start-over