#be

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you. ↗

— David Letterman

#apart #civilization #falls #new #new york

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger. ↗

— David Letterman

#bush #course #president #president bush #pronounce

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I'm thinking, well, hell, he didn't need the approval of the American voters to become president, either. ↗

— David Letterman

#approval #become #bush #does #either

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts. ↗

— David Letterman

#because #carts #changed #confused #dog

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has sent a letter of apology to the Chinese. And, he's also given them a gift certificate for future nuclear secrets. ↗

— David Letterman

#apology #bombed #certificate #chinese #clinton

I can remember Doris Day before she was a virgin. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#day #doris #i #i can #remember

I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#day #doris #i #knew #she

Schizophrenia beats dining alone. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#beats #dining #schizophrenia

Behind the phony tinsel of Hollywood lies the real tinsel. ↗

— Oscar Levant

#hollywood #lies #phony #real #tinsel

Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children. ↗

— Sam Levenson

#beast #child #children #cry #mensch