#bi

A blanket could be used to represent the Rectangle of Desire. In nine out of ten cases, it was more effective than Viagra. The tenth case was found to contain a lot of cash, and the participant made off with the money without completing the study.
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— Jarod Kintz

#brick-and-blanket-iq-test #brick-and-blanket-responses #brick-and-blanket-test #brick-and-blanket-uses #funny

I've heard there’s a lot of bagpiping in that house. I'd love to go check it out." "So...you want to join the secret society of revolutionary plumbers. ↗

— Benson Bruno

#humor #plumbing #secret-society #funny

Unless you're fucking me, don't put your hands on me. ↗

— Diana Rowland

#humor #zombie #funny

Christ, they’d be getting a cat next. He mentally recoiled from the idea: the day they did that, he’d cut off his dick and call himself a lesbian. ↗

— Kate Aaron

#gay #gay-stereotypes #lesbian #love #relationships

Está mejor - respondió con remilgo - Afortunadamente, me lo rompió una perra psicótica, y no alguien de la familia. Le di mi mejor sonrisa psicótica. Qué mal. La familia te puede golpear por accidente. Las perras psicóticas tienden a volver por más ↗

— Richelle Mead

#funny #rose-hathaway #spanish #funny

I hope it won't be too aristocratic of me to pass some noble gas. ↗

— Bauvard

#flatulence #funny #humor #nobility #funny

The number of fishermen today who go out on a boat with the intention of catching fish is very disenchanting. It degrades fishing into a hobby. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #hobbies #humor #funny

The lawn is the last suburban frontier. It separates us from the corruption of the street and its triker gangs. When drive-by shootings occur, our grass gets a shower instead of our windows getting water-stains. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #gangs #humor #lawns #shootings

If you can't argue properly, how can you ever come to a decision when you flip a coin? One side always has some butthead on it, and the reverse bears a lofty representation. Whichever case you make for your side, you can't afford to leave something like that to chance. ↗

— Bauvard

#chance #coin-flipping #funny #humor #probability

In the midst of our struggle to find out who we are, there are infinite possibilities for beauty, and hope, and wonder, and love. ↗

— Mandy Hale

#beauty #destiny #enjoying-the-journey #faith #finding-yourself