#bra

I was just turned last week. I'm a librarian." He stilled, as if I'd just told him I was the inventor of the tube top. "I watched a movie about a librarian once. Well, she was a librarian by day, a call girl by--" I stopped him with a quick lift of an eyebrow. "If you finish that sentence, we cannot be friends. ↗

— Molly Harper

#funny #jane-jameson #librarians #molly-harper #nice-girls-don-t-have-fangs

If she can't spell, why is she a librarian? Librarians should know how to spell. ↗

— Beverly Cleary

#librarians #spelling #humor

Can I just ask, after we find this guy, can we talk about the Vibrator Ceremony? I’m thinking of making us all kind of choir like robes to wear but with sequins and some satin sashes as belts. Maybe in chartreuse. ↗

— Kristen Ashley

#vibrator #funny

When I’m lonely I stand in the corner and play my saxophone and feel sorry for myself. I would ask you to accompany me on the piano, but if I did that I wouldn’t be lonely, would I? And what’s the point of a saxophone if not to celebrate despair?
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#celebrate #celebration #despair #funny #humor

If she kept wondering about how much of her life Bran engineered, she’d end up on a funny farm knitting caps for ducks. ↗

— Patricia Briggs

#anna-cornick #bran-cornick #fair-game #humor #marrok

The bottom half of the page had descended into a doodle of a tiny man giving the middle finger to a giant, angry eagle with razor-sharp talons. Beneath it, the caption: To Mock a Killing Bird. ↗

— Seth Grahame-Smith

#funny #vampire-hunter #funny

Excellent posture is the most important personality trait in an effective salesman. It allows him to pass for a vertebrate. ↗

— Bauvard

#humor #personality #posture #salesmen #vertebrates

She'd absolutely adored the library_an entire building where anyone could take things they didn't own and feel no remorse about it. ↗

— Ally Carter

#library #humor

I'm convinced that responsibility is some kind of psychological disease. ↗

— Brandon Sanderson

#humor #mental #responsibility #humor

Librarians are the secret masters of the world. They control information. Don't ever piss one off. ↗

— Spider Robinson

#librarians #humor