#bro

Whenever he looks at me with those big brown eyes, I feel like giving him a nut,” she said. She even started calling the squirrels running around in the park Mr. Whitmans. ↗

— Kerstin Gier

#funny #likeness #squirrels #funny

Mustaches are so cool that I not only have one—I have two. I wear both of mine above my eyes.
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#eyes #funny #humor #mustache #mustaches

And it was kind of funny to see all these professional fighters unwilling to get within a mile of the female. Then again, if you wanted to survive doing the work they did, accurate risk assessment was something you developed early -- and even Qhuinn, who was the object of the protective instinct the Chosen was rocking, wouldn't have dared touch her. ↗

— J.R. Ward

#j-r-ward #layla #lover-at-last #qhuinn #funny

As he flushed, an unexpected realization hit him. This is the Pope's toilet, he thought. I just took a leak in the Pope's toilet. He had to chuckle. The Holy Throne. ↗

— Dan Brown

#dan-brown #funny #humor #robert-langdon #toilet

If I could bronze my love, it’d be worthy of a silver medal.
 ↗

— Dark Jar Tin Zoo

#funny #humor #love #medal #silver-medal

Tanned, toned, curves in the right places and that small waist…lips, hair, eyes all packaged up like a siren. If she’s a siren, I heard her call, and I’m diving in hook, line, and sinker. - Drew Donovan ↗

— Kailin Gow

#college #donovan-brothers #drew-donovan #kailin-gow #loving-summer

It was then that my gaze happened to fall on the bookcase, on the gap there, where the old paperback of "Nine Stories" had fallen flat. "Where's the thing?" I said. "What thing?" "The mesh. My mesh." She shrugged. "I tossed it." "Tossed it? Where? What do you mean?" In the next moment I was in the kitchen, flipping open the lid of the trash can, only to find it empty. "You mean outside?" I shouted. "In the dumpster?" When I came thundering back into the room, she still hadn't moved. "Jesus, what were you thinking? That was mine. I wanted that. I wanted to keep it." Her lips barely moved. "It was dirty. ↗

— T.C. Boyle

#dysfunctional-relationships #passive-aggression #shaming #home

Being his real brother I could feel I live in his shadows, but I never have and I do not now. I live in his glow. ↗

— Michael Morpurgo

#brothers #charlie #comfort #love #private

The last excuse that I'll claim, I was a boy who loved a woman like a little girl. ↗

— Ron Pope

#couples #heartbroken #love #relationships #love

If in this lifetime, I wont get to have you, I'll make sure that if I meet you in my next life I wont have to think twice on saying that "I waited a lifetime to say I love you... ↗

— Anjali Banerjee

#life