#bs

This morning, as I was driving to work, I mistook a big brown box on the side of the road for a deer. It was dark, and I swerved at the last second, and even though it wasn’t a deer, I still managed to nail that son of a bitch. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#box #deer #driving #funny #humor

There’s truth and honor in a mustache. And that’s why I started flying one on the flagpole outside of my house. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #flag #flagpole #funny #honor

There is an enduring freshness in what remains strange and obscure which the cliches of greatness can only evoke nostalgia for. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #greatness #humor #obscurity #funny

I’m in disguise. I’m disguised as myself, and I’m a master of disguise, so that’s why you couldn’t tell I was in disguise. Not even my clone could tell. 
 ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#bizarre #funny #humor #odd #strange

I never forget things. I just don't observe them in the first place. ↗

— Bauvard

#funny #humor #observation #funny

The workforce offers many outlets for personal growth to people of limited potential. You can explore your aptitude for drudgery. Or if you are the creative sort, you can join a corporation and have it come up with your ideas for you. The amount of great ideas corporations have today is astounding. They are far more original than people ever were. In fact, since the rise of the corporation I can’t think of a single person who invented anything. ↗

— Bauvard

#creativity #funny #humor #inventions #jobs

The confounding Political Economy with the Sciences and Arts to which it is subservient, has been one of the principal obstacles to its improvement. ↗

— Nassau William Senior

#been #confounding #economy #improvement #obstacles

As, however, the port in reality lies in thirty-two degrees thirty-four minutes, according to the observations that have been made, they went much beyond it, thus making the voyage much longer than was necessary. ↗

— Junipero Serra

#been #beyond #degrees #however #lies

The main character, Gene Moore, is shown how much of his identity is wrapped up in his career and potential in that career. When he comes home from war no longer able to see himself as a baseball prospect, he isn't sure who he is. This is thoroughly reinforced every time one of his acquaintances identifies him by baseball or inquires about his status. How much of our identity and worth is wrapped up in our job title or the one we are aspiring to? ↗

— Gary Moore

#identity #jobs #rehabilitation #work #dreams

When anybody honks at me in traffic, I blush, wave, and shout, “Thanks for being a fan.” Being a celebrity is a 24/7 thing. ↗

— Jarod Kintz

#accessible #blush #blushing #celebrity #delusional